BY CHRISTOPHER STAMM
GUEST MOVIE REVIEWER
The Batman (Now showing in theatres)
Rated PG-13 – for language, violence, and adult themes
Hello again, everyone. This week I bring you The Batman, and I am sorry to say for me it did not live up to expectations or potential.
First the good: This incarnation of Batman is based pretty solidly in reality. Gone are the super fancy gizmos and gadgets, and this Batman is just a plain old vigilante with issues and a lot of money. Being played this time around by Robert Patterson (sparkly Vampire Edward from the Twilight saga), he is a surprisingly effective Batman, and he did very well in that role.
Colin Farrell shows up as the penguin and, in my humble opinion, his portrayal is the best incarnation of the Penguin ever – just excellent.
Zoe Kravitz does an acceptable job of Catwoman, but she is no Michelle Pfeiffer.
The rest of the cast is fine, but the standout is Paul Dano as the Riddler. This is not the comic book Riddler we all know; he is a deeply disturbed psychopath and serial killer, and he is excellent in this role, probably because Paul Dano is just kinda creepy anyway.
Credit needs to be given to the Director, Matt Reeves, who helmed the fantastic Planet of the Apes Trilogy reboot. He went with a grittier detective story rather than an over-the-top comic book movie, and it came close to working. More on that below.
Now the bad: Long. This film is very long, with a running time of three hours, and there are some points where the film drags.
Of course, some woke nonsense had to be tossed in: Catwoman while scolding Batman talks about his “white privilege.” I mean seriously? He is a mentally unstable vigilante who runs around in a bat costume. Good grief.
Batman mentions a couple of times that he doesn’t do “guns,” so that should make the anti-gun folks happy.
And I mentioned earlier that Patterson does a great job as Batman, right? Well, that is true, but as Bruce Wayne, a big fat nope. He comes across like a little whiny emo kid with his pale skin and lanky hair and all sad because he has childhood trauma and his only solace are the billions of dollars he has. So sad.
And lastly, did I mention it’s long?
Two out of five stars for this one, folks. It’s not a bad film, but it’s not what it could have been, and did I mention at any point that it’s long?