What men can do about domestic abuse

Domestic violence is not a WOMEN's issue-it is a FAMILY issue, a HUMAN issue and a CULTURAL issue. It doesn't just happen to "those people" or in "that family" or on "the other side of town." Yes, most who seek help are female, and many of these women also have children they are trying to protect. And though they may not realize it, those who choose to use violence in their closest relationships are also negatively affected: first by the belief system and life history that lead them to choose these tactics, and second by the consequences of what they do, such as severely damaged or lost relationships, civil and criminal actions, and many other ongoing problems in their lives. And yes, statistically most perpetrators are male. It can be difficult for those who have not been affected by domestic abuse to comprehend its far-reaching effects and the obstacles faced by survivors. Some of the reasons that domestic violence continues is that people are unsure about what defines it, and reluctant to change the culture that enables it. Those who abuse rely on family, friends, the community and the larger society to "mind their own business," to dismiss rather than raise concern over words or actions that are red flags, to decline to get involved because they "don't want to take sides," or risk taking a stand.

Because domestic violence is not only a women's issue, HAVEN has invited Ed Heisler of Duluth, MN to make a presentation in Merrill entitled "What Men Can Do About Domestic Abuse." His talk is in conjunction with October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Ed is the Executive Director of Men As Peacemakers, and co-coordinator for the Minnesota Men's Action Network. He also serves as a National Resource Trainer for the organization A CALL TO MEN. His work focuses on engaging and organizing men in efforts to end violence against women and children. Ed specializes in primary prevention strategies, meaning ways to stop domestic abuse before it starts. He also co-facilitates batterers' intervention classes. In Ed's words, "Most statistics suggest at least 1 in 4 women experience sexual or domestic violence at some point in their lives. Consider the devastating impact this has on communities. Think about the ways boys and girls are shaped by this level of violence. It is possible to create a community environment that prevents domestic and sexual violence. This event will focus on ways men can join women in doing that."

Ed will bring his first-hand knowledge to the Americinn, 3300 E. Main St., Merrill on Thursday, Oct. 11 at 6:30 p.m. His presentation is free and open to everyone. Men are especially encouraged to participate. Those who are involved with youth in any capacity and also with community organizations will find Ed's perspectives particularly useful. He will explain how men are in a unique position to change the cultural norms that perpetuate domestic abuse. His message is down to earth and something to which everyone can relate.

There will also be a light supper available on a first come basis for those who wish to partake. Anyone with questions or seeking further information may contact HAVEN at 715-536-1300.